Sunday, August 19, 2007

Parental Obsession and the Dangers of Umbilical Addiction

The tight chemical bond which develops between parent and kid is well documented to be a drive life force, its legendary powerfulness to protect and shield have made history through the ages. One reads of parents rescuing their children from combustion autos or sinking ships, finding almost ace human strength to raise many modern times their organic structure weight, or last submerged for impossible lengths of clip to salvage their kid from drowning, and so on. Occasionally, this life military unit deflections and goes detrimental to parent, child, and any unfortunate person stopping point enough to be affected by association.

Sometimes nicknamed Umbilical Addiction, the most common word form of this upset is in women, the maternal inherent aptitude propagating into an obsessive demand to surround and control, turning the kid eventually into an over weaned, incapable shadow.

It is possible for this ugly status to look in male parents; commonly the attending is focused on a girl but it can look between fathers and sons. Mothers who develop the compulsion over their boys be given to side with the boy against the father, making the usual disciplinary counsel impossible for the father to maintain.

The symptoms of compulsion get early, when the kid is a toddler, or even before the kid is out of diapers. The female parent can travel to extraordinary lengths to vouch the kid is completely dependant, lavishing attending and unneeded gifts upon the kid to guarantee devotedness and loyalty. Detection and control of this behaviour is invariably impossible as all the symptoms are confused with 'spoiling' – Associate in Nursing over simplified and dog-eared expression sometimes applied to a upset with far less serious implications. The parent over protects, alienating other supportive influences which might otherwise have got been helpful in bringing the state of affairs under control.

As the kid develops, the traits of this awful status go more than obvious. Intervention in the female parents (or fathers) control consequences in anger, or even aggression toward anyone who might seek to step in in the child's behavioural difficulties. As the kid goes older, the early spoiling tactics bring forth unacceptable Acts of rebellion and disobedience, usually incurring the disapproval of the remainder of the family.

The kid blind staggers into adolescence displaying alarming behavioural disfunctions such as as thieving, lying, rudeness, and always the immature grownup will go on to stay closely attached to the very parent causing the damage.

Elaborate prevarications may be invented to cover misdemeanors, both by the parent and the offspring, until eventually, as the immature grownup go forths school and comes in the workplace, the delinquent have developed into a dangerous, egotism obsessed, narcissistic psychopath. Sometimes, the state of affairs have festered over such as a long clip period it is impossible for the kid to work without the blessing and support of the parent.

In utmost cases, the dependence of the kid combined with the authoritarian control of the parent consequences in an incestuous relationship, as the kid is not able to get by with normal interaction with the antonym sex.

Each time the 'child' is confronted by authority, even by the authorization of the offending parent, the reaction goes more than intensely anti social, until eventually the individual develops a strong disfavor and an active hostility for most societal codes. Throughout most of this adult's immature life, alibis have got been establish for his or her stealing, lying, idling and general delinquency. When grounds is presented to this individual that such as as behaviour cannot continue, the consequence can be dangerously aggressive, and sometimes vindictive.

Such people commonly expose a desire to follow pets, such as domestic dogs and cats, but invariably are unkind to the animals. The ownership of such as pets gives the individual comfortableness and stores a demand which is the consequence of having few friends. However, as they are not able to cover with responsibility, they flog out at the animate being when they are required to foster it in any manner that causes personal inconvenience.

The early childhood of such as people is the cardinal to the behavioural upsets which go evident future in life. The grownup cannot bear duty or control of any verbal description and often their inability to get by with authorization and routine Pbs them to go more than than and more anti social. Frequently, they are not able to interact normally with people and elect to work in occupations which make not necessitate societal skills. An ideal community for such as a individual would be long distance motortruck driving, or beacon keeping, or working in very noisy environments which forestall conversation – communities which necessitate extended time periods of purdah and necessitate small carbon dioxide operation with colleagues.

Those who have got reached maturity carry an deep-rooted inability to parent their ain children. Typical behaviour of such as a individual would be to bring forth children but then handle them badly, and so the rhythm continues. Many households endure such as as people because they believe their behaviour is merely eccentric; some even conceive of them to be colourful in some way, person to be 'put up with' because after all everyone is different.

The mayhem caused within stopping point household circles by such behaviour is unimaginably distressing, especially when the parent invents lies to cover unacceptable behavior, sometimes at the disbursal of other household members. Often the rhythm of fraudulence travels on for years, perhaps even up to and after the decease of the parent. Occasionally the upset develops into a more than baleful status when the parent, through death, is no longer able to supply emotional support.

1 comment:

Tongyblog said...

Umbilical obsession is a particularly nasty form of abuse and is very difficult to spot. I was a victim of it, and it has taken me years of therapy and self-help to understand that it wasn't my fault. Unlike some other victims, I grew to dislike my Mother intensely. This probably saved my life, coupled with the fact that my Father outlived her for 15 years, during which time I got to know, respect and love him. Something she didn't allow whilst she was alive. I wish there was a therapy for this dreadful condition, it attacks so many lives. She was the victim of her Mother, and I have never had children, fearing I'd turn out to be just like her. I now live a wonderful tranquil life surrounded by friends and animals in South West France. If I could help one person through this I would. Thanks for the article, but please have some sympathy for the victims, it isn't our fault.