Parents and Teenagers - A Survival Guide

So you thought the Terrible Twos were, well terrible? Wait until your yearling turns into a adolescent and I vouch you'll be looking back with affectionate nostalgia to the years when crying and fits could be silenced by an ice-cream and sulkinesses lasted proceedings instead of hebdomads or months. But it's no merriment being a adolescent either sometimes so as a mother, and ex-high school instructor (now turned adolescent author) here's my usher for grownups and teens.

Parents' Usher to Teenagers:

If your girl is buying sexy underwear, she's having sex. Sorry, but she is.

If your boy is buying rubbers he is at least hoping to have got got sex.

Teenagers don't desire to see you dance.

Teenagers presume you don't have sexual activity so don't speak about it.

If you desire to abash any adolescent disregard points 3 and 4 above.

Teenagers' Usher to Parents (and instructors too):

If your parents still kip together they're having sex. Sorry, but they are.

Your parents are probably no more than awkward than your friends' parents, it
just experiences that way.

Your instructors talking about you in the staff room. It's not all good.

That hot new pupil instructor doesn't fancy you.

That's maybe what they're talking about in the staff room.

Still having problem apprehension your teenager/parents? Then communicating is the key. However I've establish the most of import accomplishment in effectual communicating is not knowing what to state but what definitely not to say. Here are some examples.

What Not to State to Your Teenager

"It's just puppy fat. Anyway you have got a very nice face."

"I don't like your new boyfriend."

"I like your new boyfriend."

"Of course of study I love you unconditionally but..."

"Spots, comedoes and hickeys don't matter. It's what's inside that counts."

What Not to State to Your Parents

"Mum, make you believe you should have got another glass of wine? It's not good for the
skin color you know."

"Of course of study you're not too old for that outfit, but maybe, um, it's a spot too immature
for you."

"I wager you were really nice looking when you were young."

"Well yes you have got got set a spot of weight on but at your age it hardly counts makes
it."

"No, I haven't slept with my boyfriend. We were too busy having sex."

Hope all this helps. If not, we parents can comfort ourselves with alcohol, cocoas and the cognition that one twenty-four hours our progeny will probably be tormented by teens of their own. As for teens, just remind your parents of that old proverb "be nice to your children as they acquire to take your nursing home."

note: A version of this article by me was published in the Scots "Daily Record" newspaper on 2nd July 2005.