Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Parents and Teenagers - A Survival Guide

So you thought the Terrible Twos were, well terrible? Wait until your yearling turns into a adolescent and I vouch you'll be looking back with affectionate nostalgia to the years when crying and fits could be silenced by an ice-cream and sulkinesses lasted proceedings instead of hebdomads or months. But it's no merriment being a adolescent either sometimes so as a mother, and ex-high school instructor (now turned adolescent author) here's my usher for grownups and teens.

Parents' Usher to Teenagers:


  • If your girl is buying sexy underwear, she's having sex. Sorry, but she is.
  • If your boy is buying rubbers he is at least hoping to have got got sex.

  • Teenagers don't desire to see you dance.

  • Teenagers presume you don't have sexual activity so don't speak about it.

  • If you desire to abash any adolescent disregard points 3 and 4 above.

  • Teenagers' Usher to Parents (and instructors too):

  • If your parents still kip together they're having sex. Sorry, but they are.

  • Your parents are probably no more than awkward than your friends' parents, it
    just experiences that way.
  • Your instructors talking about you in the staff room. It's not all good.

  • That hot new pupil instructor doesn't fancy you.

  • That's maybe what they're talking about in the staff room.

  • Still having problem apprehension your teenager/parents? Then communicating is the key. However I've establish the most of import accomplishment in effectual communicating is not knowing what to state but what definitely not to say. Here are some examples.

    What Not to State to Your Teenager

  • "It's just puppy fat. Anyway you have got a very nice face."

  • "I don't like your new boyfriend."

  • "I like your new boyfriend."

  • "Of course of study I love you unconditionally but..."

  • "Spots, comedoes and hickeys don't matter. It's what's inside that counts."

  • What Not to State to Your Parents

  • "Mum, make you believe you should have got another glass of wine? It's not good for the
    skin color you know."

  • "Of course of study you're not too old for that outfit, but maybe, um, it's a spot too immature
    for you."

  • "I wager you were really nice looking when you were young."

  • "Well yes you have got got set a spot of weight on but at your age it hardly counts makes
    it."

  • "No, I haven't slept with my boyfriend. We were too busy having sex."

  • Hope all this helps. If not, we parents can comfort ourselves with alcohol, cocoas and the cognition that one twenty-four hours our progeny will probably be tormented by teens of their own. As for teens, just remind your parents of that old proverb "be nice to your children as they acquire to take your nursing home."

    note: A version of this article by me was published in the Scots "Daily Record" newspaper on 2nd July 2005.

    Monday, September 17, 2007

    My Children Get Great Marks on Assignments But Their Exam Marks Are Low - What is the Problem?

    The cause of the job is that not adequate information is being transferred to their long-term memory. When was the last clip your kid was told that they were going to be disbursement the adjacent forty-five proceedings to beef up their memory of stuff they learned the former day? I am not talking about a 10 minute verbal review. I am referring to creating long-term memories that tin be accessed for an exam.

    What is consistently overlooked is strengthening the long-term memory before any type of recollection is required. The very enactment of trying to remember information that is not securely learned Pbs to errors and permanent confusion. There must be a measure in between inputting stuff into the encephalon and attempting to remember that material. This agency that previously learned stuff must be re-inserted into the encephalon within twenty-four hours with absolutely no effort at recall. The clip between the first juncture the encephalon sees new information and the 2nd clip it sees that exact same information must be no longer than twenty-four hours.

    I would urge placing your pupils on a rotating agenda that lets for this incredibly of import measure in learning; strengthening the memory. This is easy, but takes attending to timing. Before your kid gets to make homework, have got them reexamine their social class short letters from that day. This information must be right and complete. This guarantees that they are seeing the same information within that one-day period. Then they can travel on to homework. The adjacent day, they reexamine their prep from the former day, and then reexamine their short letters from today's class, and then get their homework. This agenda make certain that they are re-inserting material within that very critical twenty-four hr period.

    How many modern times have got got your children said that they don't have prep and off they travel to other activities? While they may not have got got new homework, they have "memory" work. They necessitate to reexamine information given to them in social class that day, and they have got former prep to travel over. This 1 alteration in the manner your children work with information will greatly increase the likeliness of creating long-term memories of their social class short letters and homework. Then when it come ups to examination time, the stuff will be in their long-term memory and available to them for recall.

    For more than advice on learning techniques, contact Dame Ellen Terry Hansen, MSc. BAHon, RETec of Genius by Choice Inc. astatine 403.267.2400 www.geniusbychoice.com

    Friday, September 14, 2007

    Social Skills for Kids - 3 Parenting Tips for Teaching Respect to Bossy Kids

    Parenting Advice - A Sociable Skills Quote:

    "Conversation isn't just crossfire where you hit and acquire shot at! Where you've got to duck for your life and purpose to kill! Words aren't only bombs and slugs -- no, they're little gifts, containing meanings!" - Prince Philip Roth

    If you have got a demanding child, his words may experience like bullets. Let's happen out how to change them into small gifts with meanings.

    This Sociable Skill Problem Comes from Bruce:

    "My 11 year-old-son need's to inquire for what he desires with respect. It is automatic for him to say, "Dad, acquire me some milk." After such as a command, conversations like the followers takes place:


    Dad - Bad can't make it.
    Son - Why?
    Dad - Because you have got not asked for it properly.
    Son - (begrudgingly) May Iodine delight have got some milk.

    It haps over and over again."

    Parenting Advice - An Important Principle:

    Use the least amount of subject to manage the problem. I like Bruce's approach. I can even hear his respectful tone of voice as he rectifies his son. Unfortunately, it's not quite adequate to manage the problem.

    First Sociable Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:

    Pretend you are Bruce. See using the "parenting stare" while saying and doing nothing. Brand certain it's serious but not mean. Gaze at your boy for respective secs then turn away without getting what he wants.

    Second Sociable Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:

    If you throw household meetings, discourse your son's behaviour as a household job to solve. Role-play with him on how to inquire for things. Get him to do a committedness to inquire with respect. Rich Person him compose his committedness and mark it. Then post it on the icebox as a reminder.

    Third Sociable Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:

    Think about using the Feedback Formula when your boy orders you to make his bidding. It's simple and travels wish this:


    When you -

    I experience -

    I would like you to -

    Let's fill up it in:


    When you order me to make something,

    I experience disrespected and won't acquire what you want.
    I would wish you to say, "Please" with regard or acquire it yourself.

    This expression could assist your boy recognize the tone of voice of his words impact both you and others. If his bossiness doesn't work at home, it won't work at school or with friends either.

    Thank you, Bruce, for sharing this societal accomplishments problem. May it assist other parents who confront bossy kids.

    Social Skills Summary:

    Consider using one or a combination of these societal accomplishment tips. The easiness of the "parenting stare," the household meeting, and the feedback expression do them valuable parenting tips. The fast one is to utilize them consistently and never accept disrespect.

    Why not learn your small full general to change his demanding slugs into small gifts of respect. Respect is a basic societal accomplishment to larn at home, in school, and with friends. Respect constructs fictional character too.

    Wednesday, September 12, 2007

    Abusing Our Children

    No kid is should travel up in a place where they dwell in fear. There are too many studies of kid abuse. The figure of kid maltreatment lawsuits are tremendous. Especially when you take into consideration that 2,700 children will be abused today. Another 2,700 will be abused tomorrow and the adjacent twenty-four hours and the adjacent day. In one day, three children will decease of abuse. These children will never do it to their 5th birthday.

    Every 10 secs there is a study of kid abuse. An estimated 906,000 children were victims of some word form of kid maltreatment in 2003 alone. The job is that the maltreatment is happening, but the government are doing small to assist forestall it. Most children will not state that they are being abused. They have got been told by the maltreater that he/she volition kill them or their sibs or the remainder of their family.

    These children are also afraid that they will acquire worse maltreatment if they state someone. A kid can state you that everything is fine. That is when we necessitate to look at the marks and personal effects of kid abuse. These children maybe telling us that they are being abused in a nonverbal way. Many of these lawsuits were reported to the police force and to the Departments of Children and Family Services. While the initial study may have got been investigated, but Department of Children and Family Services could not happen adequate grounds to take the children from the homes.

    These children ultimately pay the price. There are four chief word forms of kid abuse. They are physical, emotional, neglect, and sexual. The most common word form of maltreatment is neglect. When a kid is being sexually abused more than than likely they are being physically abused as well. No word form of kid maltreatment is the child's fault. All word forms of kid maltreatment are damaging to the child's physical, social, mental, and psychological development.

    Recently in the news, a 13 twelvemonth old miss is being charged for shot her father to death. This misses suffered physical and sexual maltreatment at the custody of her father for years. Her blood brother also suffered the same maltreatment at the custody of her father. The government were called and did nil to forestall any more than maltreatment from happening to these two children. She shot her father in the human face knowing that it was the lone manner to acquire out of this violent situation.

    Another lawsuit that recently hit the new was a 3 twelvemonth was raped by her uncle. This misses uncle have a history of sexual abuse. He was living in the same house as the 3 twelvemonth old and injured her so bad that she had to be hospitalized. Her female parent establish her abused and hemorrhage in his room. If the government make not happen important grounds on the first visit, then maybe they should be putting surveillance photographic photographic cameras or digital room recording equipments in the home.

    These surveillance cameras or digital room recording equipments would give them the proof. Shutting the lawsuit after the first visit is not an option. They may necessitate to see the place unannounced a couple of modern times to acquire a true image of what is going on. We have got got all heard of kid maltreatment lawsuits that we have heard about on the news. When we hear the news of a kid dying or being seriously injured because of abuse, we are appalled. We desire to cognize where the government were in this lawsuit and how this kid slipped through the cracks.

    The public have all these inquiries for the government when this haps but no replies from them. The public then drops these inquiries when those same government state that they are investigating the maltreatment and what led the maltreatment to acquire so bad that it winds up in serious hurt or decease to the child. It is clip we begin protecting all children and asking these questions. Bash not allow another kid faux pas through the clefts of our system.

    Monday, September 10, 2007

    Are You Too Immersed In Your Child?

    I managed to happen an cyberspace interview the other twenty-four hours featuring Judith Warner, the writer of 'Perfect Madness...Motherhood In The Age Of Anxiety.' Warner, a former particular letter writer for Newsweek in City Of Light had recently come up over from French Republic with her hubby and two little children to dwell and compose independent in American Capital DC. Being at place with her children gave her the ability to experience the pulsation of the SAHM in Washington. Although what she establish out come ups as no great surprise, it certainly hits a chord in footing of similar defeats displayed by mas in the remainder of United States and Canada as well.

    Warner pointed out the difference between French Republic and America, in footing of their attack to kid raising and the supports in place. In France, either parent can take a upper limit of 3 old age off with the cognition that their occupation or a similar 1 will be held open. Government subsidies are available for preschool and female parents are encouraged not to lose themselves in motherhood, maintaining an active societal and romanticist life.

    Currently the roar town of Calgary that I name place is struggling with many of the issues surrounding motherhood. Due to the deficiency of a proper work force, many households are straining under insane work hours. Some are compensated with a healthy paycheck, others are not, but what interested me most about Warner's interview was the premiss that what she called 'a civilization of entire motherhood' should be kept in check. Are she right? Are we too immersed as parents?

    Much of the footing for this submergence come ups from a reversion to a more than natural style of parenting. Babywearing, co-sleeping etc. are exhibited in many tribal societies which have got at their alkali an environment very different to ours. These differences include extended households and back ups that no longer be in North American society. The inquiry then becomes, not makes this style work but makes this style work here? There's no inquiry that many people hanker for a simpler time. Unfortunately, our human race is far from simple and many of the ways that work in a tribal society may not interpret to winning solutions here. Sometimes the pressure levels that society topographic points on parents demand a different style, no less sort or apprehension but more than in melody with the human race that we have, after all, created for ourselves.

    Thursday, September 6, 2007

    Parent Power With Homework

    Would you express joy if I said you had a particular power? You do.

    It's called influence. You are a immense influence on your kids, despite how many times
    you may have got got wondered if they ever hear you!

    You cognize they listen because if you have ever listened to them coaching job a friend
    through a troublesome time, you might be very surprised to hear them repeating all
    the fantastic wisdom you've imparted on them...verbatim!

    Now that you cognize how influential you are, why not utilize it to do this school year
    better for everyone. If you desire your children to pass more than clip on homework, decide
    how you'd wish to implement this new idea. You could state them that everyone in the
    house will be disbursement a one-half hr every nighttime at the kitchen tabular array or seek setting aside
    a quiet clip for the full family including you.

    Carry it through.

    If you acquire a batch of whining and resistance, state the children the regulation won't begin for 2
    hebdomads or until a future date...but don't wait too long! That volition give them clip to acquire used to the idea. Call those few hebdomads of waiting "countdown to a better year" and grade the years off on the
    calendar. State them all the positive things that volition come up from it. Brand certain that you have got something particular that you're going to get at the same clip and be certain to demo your enthusiasm during the countdown. Use your powerfulness of influence to do it a positive experience by saying you are looking forward to making your September better too. Enjoy!

    Wednesday, September 5, 2007

    What Ever Man Ought to Know About Being a Good Father-To-Be

    Being a father is not always that easy. Yet, it is not that difficult to learn. Start it when your married woman is still pregnant with your baby. The remainder will be easy.

    Understand Her

    You are not the lone individual who is confused about some alterations in your wife. She is also confused about it.

    So, instead of wondering, why don't you make something by getting as much information on gestation and how it changes those mothers-to-be. This assists you be more than than patient in dealing with your Moody wife.

    It's also a procedure to be more matured and to be a good father.

    Be Aware of Her Needs

    Day to day, your pregnant wife's demands also change. One of the illustrations is food. You necessitate to follow all the alterations in her demands of nutrient to assist the babe turn in good health.

    Most pregnant women have got jobs with food. They have got penchants on a certain sort of food. It is your occupation to do certain that all she eats have a healthful benefit for both your married woman and the baby. If needed, cook for her.

    Not only food, but also her fitness. Brand a agenda to work out together. Swimming is good for gestation from calendar month 1 to 9. Walking is good for up-to-the-minute months.

    Another thing is to do certain she is happy. Find ways to do her feel relaxed and contented.

    Admire Her Look

    Some women are not confident when they are pregnant. Aid her to derive it back. Give a small compliment—not too much for she might believe you are lying. Let her cognize that the gestation do her radiance even more.

    Also, take her to store and happen thing she necessitates to do her feel confident. Be patient while attendant her and take her to remainder every now and then to avoid fatigue.

    What you might believe unneeded and such as little things could be something large for her. If possible, inquire her what she necessitates of you so you can make your best in being a great father-to-be.